This past week has been deeply painful and deeply healing for me. Old patterns and past wounds have surfaced to be acknowledged.
With this full moon in Libra I have been invited to look at my relationship with myself. To see what there is that gets to be noticed. Sitting with my inner teenager as she showed me past wounds that I didn’t even realise were still crying out for healing.
“But I thought I had already healed that part of myself” hahaha that’s not exactly how this journey works is it.
I remembered that pretty quickly after sinking into moments of teenage rebellion and feeling surprised as I all of a sudden had the urge to smoke a fag, have a drink and go out on the town. Lol.
Instead of smoking and going out on the lash I made the quick decision to reach for the things that can really help...my journal, my oracle cards and silence. It takes a warrior woman to sit with past hurts and feel everything moving through.
Major growth has happened - I can feel it on a deep cellular level. The part of me that I used to suffer from is now lifting....slowly I catch my breath again. I give myself permission to float with the energies rather than sinking into the despair I once felt.
I tell myself that there is nothing I need to do. No one I need to fix. Nothing I need to hold together. That is not my job and it never was. I know that now. I forgive and I allow myself to be held.
Like a lobster that feels discomfort as they break out of the shell that no longer fits....I too am breaking away from my old skin, shedding another layer so I can show up renewed, refreshed, ready to do it all over again until I leave this shell once and for all.
This path is filled with cycles, this life we live is a never ending journey of lessons and experiences for our souls to learn. I am finally coming to terms with the idea that I will always have layers to shed - it’s just my perception of that shedding that creates dis-ease or not. I choose love and growth always no matter how uncomfortable it is.