Day 1 of my cycle - Menstruation - feeling beautiful, feminine, seductive and powerful as I walk through the gateway into the next phase in my monthly cycle. Holding hands with the Crone as She guides me into the depth of my being.
I spent years and years of my life resisting this time of month, I hated it, I felt disgusting and dirty during my bleed to the point where I would sometimes obsessively wash away the blood. I would take the pill back to back so I didn’t have to deal with my period. When I first went travelling I even considered taking blockers that my doctor prescribed to stop my period all together so I didn’t have to deal with it abroad! .
I ignored my yoni and her want for a natural rhythm to the point where she became numb, I became numb, I didn’t feel feminine at all really, sometimes I felt sexy but it wasn’t truly coming from within, it was coming from external validation that I very often craved.
It took for me to get a painful and physically debilitating ovarian cyst for me to finally pay attention...my yoni was screaming for the attention because I wasn’t listening. .
I finally began to listen to my body, to my yoni, to my femininity, to my inner world. And at first it was agonising. Physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. .
Guilt, shame, hurt, trauma...you name it - I felt it. I felt it for myself, for my mother line, for all the women who came before me, for the feminine. It was painful, deep, raw and fucking beautiful. .
But I had been guided to something, something priceless, something that would change my life forever....I had found Sisterhood. I began sitting with other women, speaking from my heart, being heard in my truth, feeling safe in a space that was held, I wasn’t alone.
Through the pain I was feeling, and through sitting in circle with my sisters, my feminine essence awakened.
SHE had arrived.
The healing began, and it continues every single day. The acceptance of my body, my relationship with my yoni, my love for my cycle. It’s all still present for me every single day.
Now, I LOVE my bleed. I LOVE the feeling of release as I allow myself to go deep into my own body, I LOVE the mystical Crone Witch that rises in me as I shed the layers that don’t serve. I LOVE the practice of offering my blood to the Earth after I paint my face with it first. Like the fucking Warrior that I am.
Sisterhood changed my life, women’s circles changed my life, listening and honoring myself changed my life.
I heard the calling
And I answered.